Gamernode: Kyle Stallock's Columns

Kyle Stallock's Columns

Minnesota in San Diego: Indie videogame journalism...

Posted: 06/04/2008 at 07:31PM

It's the early 1960s of videogame journalism. It's the party of a lifetime and I have just stepped out back and dipped my toe into the pool. Well, it may have been called a pool eons ago when the Rubik's cube was in shorter supply than the Wii is today and everyone was talking about movin' to a little place called Funkytown; back when most people really didn't give a shit about the industry, not to mention its future. Now it's the goddamn bee's knees and everyone from musical acts who are curiously not dead from massive hairspray/latex exposure and critically acclaimed film directors see it as an additional and, especially in the case of the former and their medium's thumb-up-the-ass self-victimized confusion, substitutional revenue stream. The pool now resembles a dynamic incongruous ...

How Konami and Sony f*cked up the release of the L...

Posted: 05/20/2008 at 02:27AM

The most powerful form of marketing is word-of-mouth. Given this commonly known bit of advertising 101 splendor, who better to act as herald to one of the biggest games of the year sold only for a console in desperate need of any kind of content; let alone the highly marketable system-selling triple-A blockbuster kind; than the die-hard fans; the people who have had the next entry in the series at the top of their "most anticipated" list since they were forced to pull the trigger on their virtual mentor in a sea of white flowers over four years ago. These people, of which I'm a proud card-carrying member, are arguably any series greatest asset, and expanding their numbers must be made a top priority. Unfortunately, just the opposite has happened. Konami and Sony have just pissed them o...

It came from the notes! Iron Man edition.

Posted: 05/14/2008 at 07:09PM

When I'm reviewing a game I like to take a lot of notes to better aid me in the actual "ok let's sit down and write this thing" time. It might not work for everyone, but it works for me.

Here are a few notes for Iron Man on the Xbox 360...

Iron Man flying through the air sounds as thrilling as a model airplane flown by a Keebler Elf. Wait a minute, that actually sounds kind of cool...

Yinsen...not bad voice acting.

Why does Pepper have bigger boobs than she does in the film? Oh I get it. This is a game. Gamers can't play without seeing double ds.

Planes just flew into the ground. The odd part is they flew back out unscathed.

Merger? I'm confused...

What's worse, the gameplay or the graphics?

Terence Howard is just plain awesome.

Wait, why doesn't Obie have a beard? Is it really THAT hard ...

It came from the notes! Vol 1. Universe at War: Ea...

Posted: 05/12/2008 at 03:33PM

When I'm reviewing a game I like to take a lot of notes to better aid me in the actual "ok let's sit down and write this thing" time. It might not work for everyone, but it works for me.

Here are a few notes for Universe at War...

Universe at War is a silly name.

It froze during the tutorial.

Unintentionally funny cutscenes.

Tempted to completely mute all music.*music in Masari campaign's not too shabby.

It just froze.

No checkpoints? Come on.

It froze as soon as I loaded my campaign.

Adam Baldwin? Nice.

Foo fighters? haha.

Is it really that hard to return fire? Stupid A.I....

Vertigo doesn't always do what he's told. Intentional? Probably not.

Masari world RTS thing is actually kind of cool. Tip: Strike right away.

Peacebringer voice channels Daniel Plainview.

Ending sucks.

Multiplayer is a barren wastel...