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The Gaming Night Before Christmas

Category: Industry, Posted: 12/20/2007 at 09:05PM EST by Frank Ling, Content Contributor

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a gamer was stirring -- not even their mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In the hopes that a GeForce 8800 or console would be there;
Gamers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of CoD4 danced in their heads;

Lo and behold, a C4 transport flew directly over head;
With parachute presents and game company CEOs dressed up in red;
Bill Gates shouted, "Now Xbox, now BioShock, now Mass Effect and Halo;
More LIVE 12 month gold memberships I will throw to all below!"
Prez Fils-Aime of Nintendo, obviously not to be outdone;
Said loudly and clearly, "I've got Super Mario Galaxy for everyone!"
Kaz Hirai of Sony then shouted with glee;
"You noobs have got nothing because I've got tons of PS3s!"

I awoke in a start; I heard noises on the roof,
I took my Wii Zapper and I was ready to shoot;
But down the chimney, all three CEOs appeared,
"We come bearing presents!" they all happily declared.
A bundle of games they all had on their backs,
And they joyfully gave me all of their map packs.
Their eyes, how they twinkled, their dimples how merry!
(But they were wearing HEV suits so that was really scary…)

I grabbed a 360 and warily said,
"Hey Bill, will this console's ring light up red?"
He smiled and laughed and slapped me on the back,
"You get a two year extended warranty, so don't give me any crap!"
I turned to Hirai and asked him a question,
"Just when are you going to make more games before there's dissention?"

Kaz winked and he grinned from ear to ear,
"We've got MGS4 coming, so please never fear."
Reggie from Nintendo started to giggle and scream,
"I'd give you a Wii, but we're all out it would seem!"

I thanked them all and bid them adieu,
While my home alarm system called the cops; the men dressed in blue.
The CEOs left all sorts of games and dual core chips that were oh so right, and left on the C4 shouting,

"Happy gaming to all, and to all a good night!"

Posted by lskennedy on 12/20/2007 at 09:39PM

I
LOVE
THIS
POEM

Posted by Russell on 12/20/2007 at 09:55PM

Written by true gamers.

Posted by -=BINGO-BANGO=- on 12/21/2007 at 12:29AM

uber-tastic

one of the bst poems ever written...erm...typed

Posted by riel on 12/21/2007 at 04:58AM

thats hot...

Posted by goatlinks on 12/21/2007 at 08:28AM

Quite sexy, Frank. Quite sexy indeed.

Posted by 7ty714 on 12/21/2007 at 08:57AM

Great poem! =D

Posted by Brendon on 12/22/2007 at 07:28AM

(Frank, stay away from goatlinks.)

Posted by Quasar on 12/22/2007 at 04:01PM

LoL. It's YOU that I'm worried about.

Posted by Bigspfan on 12/22/2007 at 05:10PM

Frank, you should have written a poem for me to enter into the Contest, that way I could have gotten Orange Box ..... I'm still pissed about not even getting a placing for creativity. I mean, anyone can take a Night Before Christmas and meld it about Orange Box like disco, but can one simply create something new?

Posted by Quasar on 12/22/2007 at 07:36PM

Now you tell me. You didn't know about "Frank's Poetry and Writing Service?" Next time around, make sure you tell me and for a small fee...

But seriously, they'll be other contests and I'm sure you'll be able to snag a prize if you keep entering. It also helps to tell the EIC what a great guy he is too...

Posted by Jesse! on 12/23/2007 at 01:53PM

Brendon, what a great guy you are.

Posted by Dr.Aaron on 12/24/2007 at 03:05PM

This poem is wonderful, I'm in tears, my feelings have been deeply touched...

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