Morgan Webb and Tyra Banks explain why you play games
Category: Industry, Posted: 03/25/2008 at 04:23PM CDT by Brendon Lindsey, Editor-in-Chief
What would we do without Tyra Banks? I sure wouldn't have anything to watch while I bake muffins and water my flowers, that's for sure. Along with her ever-present ability to entertain and define who we are as people, Tyra now wants to get to the bottom of an issue very serious for about 40% of her core audience: why boyfriends play videogames. The boyfriend (who is 23, not 13, as Tyra brilliantly points out) plays games. His girlfriend wants to know why, and what they mean. Rather than sit down and talk to him face to face like an adult, she brought him on Tyra Banks' show. And rather than ask the man to explain himself, Tyra instead makes fun of the fact that he plays games at his age, talks to his bosses about games they're playing, and generally comes off like an ass. But don't worry, Tyra wants to help get to the bottom of why this man is still playing GAMES, so she brought in the "best expert for decoding Richard's love of videogames": Morgan Webb.
Morgan tells us there are three types of gamer types that teach you about your man. The first type is fantasy fanatics. "Think Elves! And Orcs! And Romance! And epic stories!" Morgan then pisses off about a quarter of all gamers (and entertains the other 3/4ths) when she states, "I know grown men who have admitted to crying at Final Fantasy 7! And this is a silly game!" If you're a fan of the fantasy games, that makes you sensitive and romantic. Playing fantasy games also means you're desperate for a lady to be romantic with.
The next type is the warrior type; these are "your Halos, and Medal of Honors, and Counterstrikes!" These guys play Counterstrike alone in the bedroom, and like to shoot people and be active. It's all about fighting, and the guys who play shooters are "fighting something in their selves, or think the world is unfair."
The third type is sports games enthusiasts, or "goal diggers." Morgan takes a moment to showcase her brilliant psychological skills when she asks Richard if he played sports. "Did you ever dream of being a professional?" she asks him. "Yes," he replies. She then tells him that playing sports games is him trying to be a hero still, and he needs to put the controller down.
Apparently his girlfriend wants to make Richard her hero, but all of the goals he's accomplishing mean nothing in real life. Not wanting to be outdone on the amount of talking done, Tyra goes off on a tangent about how it would be nice instead of yelling "Touchdown!" at your game to have sex with a person you can touch.
In the end, Morgan and Tyra do their job and convince Richard to stop playing games as much, and to do normal things. "Don't just say this 'cause you're on TV 'cause I will come find you!" Tyra warns him. Normally that's just an empty threat, but with Tyra you know she'll hunt him down, skin him alive, and then eat his soul if he ever defies her.
Thank you, Morgan Webb and Tyra Banks. Thank you for making 25-40 year-old women across the country think even less of people who play games. (And a special thanks to you, Tyra, for most likely giving me nightmares for the next week. She looks like a monster!)
Just for fun, here are what some GN people said when they saw the video:
Chris: "Oh my god, Tyra looks like a monster. But what if I play all of these types of games? I have a split personality?"
Creighton: "30 seconds in...I hate the girlfriend and Tyra. It's like they're poking and prodding me."
Kyle: "I'd still hit it."
[watch the video clip here]
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What about people like me, who play video games because there is nothing but this kind of crap on TV?
Well if there are only three types you obviously have to fit in one of them.
When you were young did you ever dream of being rich or famous when you grew up?
Sex.. with a person you can TOUCH?
Lay off the pipe, Tyra.
And I really did mean it when I said you look like a monster.
I really would.
My wife is 30 years old and plays Tetris, Poker Smash, Zuma, Planet Puzzle League and Halo 3... why Tyra... Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!
And this is morgan webb who makes a living presenting on a games tv show?
Hasn't she just attacked her entire audience by stereotyping them in 3 mildly offensive groups?
While those stereotypes DO exist in one form or another, I really just wanted to hear Morgan say "playing games for hours isn't necessarily bad."
....and "he's not the problem, YOU'RE the problem...ho."
Shows like that are one reason I turn to video games.
"... crying at Final Fantasy 7! And this is a silly game!"
Well there goes 9 million fans. Good job you dumb bitch. And wtf? my girlfriend loves hearing about the crazy that goes on at the node here. She thinks its friggin hilarious what happens sometimes, and she also likes the fact i play games. She said it doesent bother her at all, becausei put aside time for both, my lady and my games.
Tyra, your f****** stupid. And morgan webb, you still dont play games, go die.
Its a proven fact, you know, that Tyra Banks is Aramaic for Satan's Minion.
They used G4 staffers as experts =/
good point jam-man. g4 people don't know shit. biased much?
"...and the guys who play shooters are 'fighting something in their selves, or think the world is unfair.'"
is it so far fetched to believe that the world ISN'T fair...? or is it some psychobabble BS that just makes a girl happy to think in definite terms??
also... last i checked (about 4 minutes ago...) the last time i did something i thought was fun was... SURPRISE!!!... because i thought it was fun!
and i really am a goal digging romantic that wants to shoot people... they got me pegged to a T. bravo...
That's it! I've spent so much of my time in study that I could not see. I could have got my psychological advice straight from tyra and mrs webb. Instead, I've wasted my time in the works of hacks like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. It all makes sense now! With buzz word phrases like "Goal digging" this has to be credible.
Listen up, kiddies. Shows like this are a mental tranquilizer. Unless you want to obtain the IQ of a grapefruit, stay away. The spoon feeding of misinformation is worse than no information at all. They will stop at nothing for some cheep rabble rousing. Warning: these shows are like a dangerous narcotic for the mind. They trade massive brain damage for moments of ohh, ahh, un uh, and no he didn't. Keep in mind, even the worlds best hard drives are tripe when fragmented.
This has been a public service announcement from your friendly Ninja Legend.
by the way... my last interview for a job, 2 out of the 3 interviewers were interested in what kinds of games i played...
lol the world is unfair :P
W. T. F?
I never really cared much for Tyra... But now I'd like her to be run over by a bus. Repeatedly. Right along with his needy girlfriend and Morgan. And everyone in the audience...
People play games for fun. Would she rather he be reading a book? Or sitting on the couch watching TV, drinking a beer and then beat her in his drunken stupour after his favourite team lost the game?
Still hours wasted there. What's the difference really?
nice one lotus
"instead of yelling "Touchdown!" at your game to have sex with a person you can touch."
I think that means he tried that, but she didn't put out.
I would have expected much different from one of the co-hosts of X-Play, but then again, I don't know much about what Morgan Webb does other than that show.
Needless to say, I lost all respect I had for her. And I never had any for Tyra, she's a hack that doesn't deserve a T.V. show. Does anyone remember that episode where she made the WoW addict cut his CD up with scissors?
Kill your television.
People play games because of stupid shit like this.
Morgan Webb has always struck me as a bit, no, a lot of a bitch. This just confirmed it.
Maybe she'll be fired and Banks will lose her show. They both can drift into obscurity, until they plaster themselves on the next tabloid, along with the Lohan's and Britiny's:p
Can you really blame Tyra though... I mean, she's the one who is crazy about Vasoline. Morgan, on the otherhand, just slapped her target audience across the face. I mean, regardless if she's a gamer or not, I think she owes her audience an apology. It just left a bad taste in my mouth.