Grand larceny is popular among 9 year olds

cake + file Kids do the darndest things when their parents aren’t looking. Here, most of them just make faces at strangers or pick their nose. But in Indonesia, apparently grand larceny is the popular thing to do.

On Thursday a nine year old kid stole ten thousand dollars from his dad, went missing, and went on a spending spree. The kid bought a PlayStation 3, some games and a cell phone at a local mall. According to authorities, his grandmother grounded him for not doing his homework and instead he just ran away.

If this whole thing wasn’t weird enough, the kid actually went to school the next day. Yeah, a nine year old decided to go to school after running away from his house and stealing $10,000. He even had the mall security guard drive him there! After he was at school he vanished again after telling his teacher he was "going to play basketball."

This entire story boggles my mind. So some guy has ten thousand dollars just sitting out on the kitchen table at his house. Who keeps ten thousand dollars in their house? I’ve never even seen ten thousand dollars in one place. Fine, maybe he just sold his car and wanted cash.

Anyway, his kid takes it and makes for the mall. The kid, now on the run, buys a PS3 and some games. Has anyone ever picked up a PS3 box? The thing weighs somewhere between fifteen to twenty pounds. Did he think he was going to carry it around with him now that he is in exile? Where was he going to play it? He’s on the run! A smart kid would have bought a PSP or DS.

You know what this tells me? This kid is an idiot. To further prove my point, HE WENT TO SCHOOL. No kid, ever, in the history of 9 year olds, wanted to go to school. This kid probably thinks he’s going to live his life inside that PS3. Thinks he’s off scotfree, ten grand in his pocket and he goes to school.

Don’t you think the teacher would have been suspicious about him brining a giant heavy box into class? Or was his "it’s my new lunchbox" cover story just that believable?

Personally I think the kid, the parent and the teacher all need to sit down and talk about how each of them screwed up. Make it a reality show, with the person who is most to blame goes to jail for ignorance. I’ll send them a PS3 cake, but don’t expect a file inside; you deserve to be in there.



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Author: Creighton DeSimone View all posts by

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