Lollipop Chainsaw Review

Lollipop Chainsaw Box Art

Starting up Lollipop Chainsaw, I’m greeted with erotic camera pans of Juliet Starling in bed. “Welcome to my bedroom! Don’t think any funny business is going to happen just because I invited you up here!” her voice-over tells me, as Juliet wakes up and the camera angles get even more suggestive. But don’t worry – it just so happens to be Juliet’s 18th birthday, so the casual shot up her skirt is A-OK! Also, Juliet loves lollipops, even though they make her “sooo FAT!”

Later in the game, I’m decapitating five zombies at once while the screen floods with sparkling rainbows. Toni Basil’s “Mickey!” blares in the background as I jump and kick a group of zombies, smashing them into the wall for another fireworks display. For a moment, Lollipop Chainsaw stops threatening to “shove a baseball bat up my ass” and turns into pure, sugar-coated fun. But only for a moment.

Lollipop Chainsaw

Lollipop Chainsaw is an unnecessary juxtaposition of silly fun and disgusting sexism. When not flying through the air and decapitating zombie hordes, Juliet is exposed to nasty insults I’ve never heard before. It’s like the team at Grasshopper dug through the absolute worst message board postings, mining for filthy word-nuggets to use in the game, and then discussed the pros and cons of each in a meeting titled “What Can We Threaten to Do to Juliet?”

It doesn’t help that the main protagonist is the least interesting character in Lollipop Chainsaw by a thin margin. Juliet is a stereotypical Barbie doll. Jokes go over her head, she’s loud and a bit annoying, and she doesn’t show any real emotion until the final scenes of the game. Thankfully, Juliet’s personality is somewhat salvaged during interactions with her boyfriend, Nick. Due to the sudden zombie apocalypse, Nick is now nothing but a severed head, forced to accompany Juliet throughout her adventure. Nick is the exact opposite of Juliet – he’s a bit pessimistic about the whole missing-a-body situation, would rather be stuffed in a mailbox, and responds with a curt “whatever” when Juliet tries to explain magic.

Lollipop Chainsaw

Once I muted the TV and turned off the subtitles, I was able to focus on the parts that make Lollipop Chainsaw so much fun. Juliet can straight-up bash zombies with her chainsaw, whittling down their health, or she can first stun enemies with pom-pon punches, allowing for one-hit decapitations. It starts out slow and repetitive, but gets exciting and varied once combo moves are introduced. Killing zombies boosts Juliet’s super meter, which, when activated, switches the music from generic pop rock to “Mickey” and turns all hits into sparkly decapitations. Fights in Lollipop Chainsaw are the videogame equivalent of rocking out in your car to Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” without a care in the world.

It all gets a bit messy once Juliet receives a gun attachment for her chainsaw, though. The gun has a tendency to auto-lock on the wrong targets, making segments that rely on the weapon frustrating. It’s a shame, because Juliet’s acrobatics and melee attacks are so spot-on, and I expected the gunplay to match.

Lollipop Chainsaw

Despite it’s frequent videogame equivalent of a sugar-high, Lollipop Chainsaw‘s brutal, sexist insults and imagery just as frequently manage to yank a player right out of that fun. I tried tuning it out, but the game insisted on shoving it down my throat.  There’s a lot of fun to be had with Lollipop Chainsaw‘s combat, but many will have a hard time stomaching all the unnecessary filth that comes with it.


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Author: Dan McKenney View all posts by

14 Comments on "Lollipop Chainsaw Review"

  1. Justin Forsythe August 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm -

    I LOVED this game, lots of fun. Hope I win the swag! :D

  2. jot August 17, 2012 at 5:04 pm -

    love it

  3. mixmastar0b August 17, 2012 at 6:54 pm -

    Great game.. now hoping for some swag

  4. Caparthia August 17, 2012 at 6:58 pm -

    That is some cool loot :)

  5. Chris Poirier August 17, 2012 at 6:59 pm -

    At times, Lollipop Chainsaw hits a point where it seems to be poking fun at over-sexualization in games. Skimpy costumes, racy dialog, a dumb as a post protagonist? This isn’t so much Suda51 falling into the clichéd Action/Adventure territory, as much as it is a parody. Lollipop Chainsaw is as self-aware as it is over the top.

  6. Chronorayven August 17, 2012 at 9:02 pm -

    Well I guess I’ll wait for the game to hit a reasonable price then I’ll buy it :)

  7. Brian Lepak August 18, 2012 at 12:14 am -

    Love this game, shoulda got like a 4 I say.

  8. GripYaJoystick August 18, 2012 at 9:16 am -

    I love the way they have no heads

  9. Tony Nguyen August 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm -

    Hope i win. Nice Swag! :]

  10. Badkarma August 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm -

    Sweet review

  11. Zack August 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm -


  12. Calvin August 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm -

    Swag? i like swag

  13. inzautoe August 20, 2012 at 11:58 am -

    Our grand prize of the full SWAG package goes out to @GamerNode twitter follower, @n0udles, but standby for our keychain winners!

  14. inzautoe August 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm -

    Congrats to commenter Brian Lepak on his runner-up prize of a Lollipop Chainsaw keychain! We’ll be getting in touch with you via your Twitter account soon.

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