Missile Command (XBLA) Review

Sound the alarms! Missile Command is now on Xbox Live! Oh wait, that’s right, no one cares. Let’s face it, this is a release of a game that the voiceless minority wanted. Don’t give me that "oh it’s a classic" knee-jerk type of talk, think about it for awhile. Out of your top 10 or even 30 most anticipated XBLA titles, I bet this wasn’t in there. So how about you drop that "classic" bias and hear me out on why this release is sub-par.

Let’s get this out of the way: you obviously can’t use a trackball on this version of Missile Command. At first I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal, "oh sure, I’m a pro with my 360 controller, I’ll be fine," I thought. No, I was wrong. The equation "360 analog stick=trackball" does not work. It is now proven. Or, maybe I just suck. I’d like to think it’s the former.

We all know that Geometry Wars is kind of like an updated version of Asteroids, and that the new Pac-Man CE is a new take on the classic, so that means that the new Missile Command will be as good…right? Nope. Cut the level in half; add shiny graphics that are even worse than the intern-made Aegis Wing and you got yourself the "Evolved" version of this antiquated game. Lame.

So let’s recap, in this package you get two versions of the game, the original, and the new and improved completely asinine Evolved. The gameplay hasn’t been changed and feels as simple and boring as ever. If you’ve never played it before you might find a few minutes worth of enjoyment here, but if you play any more than that you might just be a masochist, or one of those high-score chasers. Then again, sometimes they are one in the same…


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Author: Kyle Stallock View all posts by

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