Five Uber-Annoying Game Characters

Duck Hunt dog

As much as we all love gaming, there always tend to be those characters that pop up from time to time and piss us right the hell off.

You don’t know why, and there may not even be a valid reason, but deep down you’d quite like to annihilate their souls. Expletives escape your lips, and when your game is over you can’t help but think that your raised blood pressure and sudden angry facial twitch are all thanks to that godforsaken character that has made your gaming life hell.

In no particular order, here are five characters who have driven me  to swear at my TV like a crazy.


The Adoring Fan – Oblivion

Yeah, this guy is the pinnacle of tooth-grinding annoyance. I mean, goddamn, he’s that much of an ass that even his face gets my goat. If you have the joy of achieving the rank of Grand Champion in the Arena you will have the delight of him following you wherever you go. Sounds good, huh? Maybe he’ll help you fight a battle and become a badass ally? No such luck; when you’re in danger he’ll flee like a sissy. But when you’d quite like to just go about exploring the beautiful world of Oblivion he’ll be right by your side. Great. On the plus side, there are plenty of hilarious YouTube videos of “Adoring fan epic deaths” that make it all better. *Evil Laugh*


Ethan Mars – Heavy Rain

Heavy Rain is an undeniably bleak game, after which you can’t help but feel a strong sense of worthlessness and depression. Well, maybe not that extreme, but holy hell that story hits you hard. From a perfect family unit… to a broken home.

The accidental death of Ethan’s son pulls the family apart, as Ethan takes the blame for the tragedy. In response to the horrible card Ethan is dealt, he becomes a whiny, self-pitying shell of a man. The opening scene, in which he hopelessly chases his son through a mall before the boy gets hit and killed by a car, is excruciatingly tedious. Yup, this guy is a tool.

It’s this opening scene that cemented my hatred for Ethan, as I desperately mashed the X button to repeatedly shout his son’s name I died a little inside. As he whines, “Jason, Jason, JAAAAAAAAASSSSONNNN” in a vain attempt to get his son’s attention, I can’t help but think it’s the bratty little kid’s fault for wondering off and walking into the road in the first place!


Frodnar – Skyrim

One of my all-time favorite YouTube videos is titled, “Killing Frodnar the bastard child of Riverwood.” Sounds mean, killing kids and all, but this videos has 98,000 views for a reason.

Once you enter the village of Riverwood you’ll come across Frodnar, a dweeby little blonde-haired Nord boy who wanders around with his dog, Stump. This kid is a royal pain in the butt; he’ll constantly ask questions or talk about how great he is and how he’ll become a better warrior than you. Like you care? You’ve got goddamn dragons to kill!

Here are just a few examples of why he gets my goat:

  • “My friend Dorthe doesn’t like my pranking, she says ‘You’re being mean, Frodnar!’. So what if I am.”
  • Shouting or casting magic around him triggers a conversation where he asks to be turned invisible.
  • If any armor or clothing is unequipped in front of him, Frodnar will yell, “Naked! Naked, naked, naked!”
  • If he witnesses the Dragonborn absorbing a dragon’s soul, he will only say, “Go away.”


Princess Peach – Mario Franchise

Princess Peach

How many goddamn times will this woman insist on getting captured?! What is a poor Italian plumber to do?!

It seems almost as soon as poor Mario puts his feet up to rest after battling his way through hell and back to free his love, she then finds herself back in trouble again. The conspiracy theories online are rather amusing when it comes to Peach, though. Some say that her captor Bowser is in fact her lover, and Mario is the one doing all the kidnapping. So, I guess if you look at it that way everything’s slightly less tedious, but could she not just give our guy a break once in a while?!


Jason Brody – Far Cry 3

I’ll start by saying I thoroughly enjoyed this game, and it gripped me from the start right through to the dramatic ending.

My gripe, however, is with the main character, an incredibly whiny and spoiled rich brat who, despite helping his friends, has his own interests in mind all along. Given the chance to head home and stick with his best mates and girlfriend that he saved, he snaps at them repeatedly and instead goes off to pursue this free-spirited jungle warrior lifestyle. As a whole he’s an incredibly forgettable character that is very hard to bond with. Not only that, but once you see the mug shot of his pathetic childish face on the character menu you immediately detest the fact you have to play as him. I may have repeatedly allowed him to die on purpose a few times out of sheer hatred.

Yeah, I’m bitter.



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Author: Carla Wellings View all posts by
Carla loves writing and loves games. So what's better than to share that love with YOU on the interwebs? She also has an unhealthy obsession with YouTube..

One Comment on "Five Uber-Annoying Game Characters"

  1. Clubwriter July 18, 2013 at 4:47 am -

    If you are going for annoying lead characters Alan Wake is also up there…

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